Lord forgive me though I know what I do
It’s been my lifetime since I’ve given confession
I was 15 and no more looking up to you
The same time I looked towards sin and aggression
I wanted to feel, please believe I wanted to
But I was empty, the best me felt shit in your blessin
I was given your scriptures, heard nothin true
I would still open my heart and always listen for lessons
But I always got that silence
I’d hope and pray but never became pious
Laughed and ridiculed cause I connected with science
I share different views doesn’t mean there’s no alliance
Never your name in vain, I’m sendin my vow
This ain’t a prayer it’s a talk, I’m ending my letter and I’ll
Try to keep an open ear for when you get it but how
Will I receive it if I don’t believe in heaven for now?

And now I lay me down to sleep
Never have I ever been found too weak
To do what I need to but it’s hard to see through
The task at hand when I’m not allowed to peek

Raise me, bathe me in your light
I hope it won’t scathe me, yet save me from my fight
Why does it sound crazy? Acquaint me holy one
I ain’t me if I open the gate, needing your only son
I oughtta have the nerve to calm and quit
And keep quiet till I get to sing your psalms and hymns
There’s a fortress in my soul that’s blocking all of it
Fuck abort this then I’ll know if I can stop this ball of shit
From rolling and rolling in my downhill battle
My mother told me, she told me to be one of your cattle
Or sheep or lamb or one of your innocent children
A god-fearing man, just a simple civilian
Instead I wear the skin of this crippling villain
Without the knowledge at all of how I strip this old feelin
Hex on my head that stained the days of a rattle
Never baptized in the river, never gave me a paddle
I know it’s not your fault when I help myself down
I don’t know if you were with me when I felt myself drown
Don’t know if you were listening, those times when I prayed
But now I’ll never know because I never stayed
I’m sendin my vow
This ain’t a prayer it’s a talk, I’m ending my letter and I’ll
Try to keep an open ear for when you get it but how
Will I receive it if I don’t believe in heaven for now?